General Mackey: The man, the myth and the mullet
... hair wars. Reminiscent of General George Washington submitting his retirement to the Continental Congress at the conclusion of the Revolutionary War, General Mackey did the same. Yes, General Mackey submitted his retirement to the Steds Hall Government this afternoon after a lightening fast and successful Mullets campaign. Mackey's resignation paves the way for not only a much needed rest but also another Stedsman to assume the "commandership" of Mullets Against Malaria, marshaling the many follicles of Steds in that yearly showdown again plasmodium falciparum, a.k.a. malaria. On his resignation, Mackey shared,
"I am pleased to announce that malaria has been vanquished, and peace has been restored. This was a very swift campaign, completed in record time. Future generations will tell tales of our victory.
Being Mullet Commissioner has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my time at Notre Dame. Mullets Against Malaria is more than just a fun tradition. It is a way for us to turn something as ridiculous as a haircut into something meaningful. The mullet may be temporary, but the impact we make is lasting. Thank you to everyone who has made this campaign successful through your support and donations!
I will now focus on my boxing skills for the upcoming Bengal Bouts."
Congratulations to General Mackey and
good luck in the Bengal Bouts!
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