Swift looking for new recruits as Distefano, Jordan, Raarup, and Nash look on
... Gentlemen is the order of the day, the day before Mullets Against Malaria (MAM). Determined to defeat malaria, John Swift, Steds sophomore and one of the commanders of Steds MAM efforts, is recruiting everyone who has a follicle to cut to join the battle. Among the general populace of the Hall there is excitement and fanfare for this much anticipated moment, but yet, at the same time, quietly, there is a healthy amount of fear and trepidation among those heading off to the front with mullets. Questions of "What can a mullet really achieve?" and "Are my follicles really needed?" arise in minds of the young and inexperienced.
As they headed off somewhere, Swift stopped a group of freshmen and gave an edifying and moving "elevator speech" in the Steds Lobby, instilling courage and dispelling any and all hesitation of getting a mullet. On Swift's rousing words,
Luke Distefano exclaimed, "I hate malaria!" while Lorenzo Jordan added, "I didn't know mullets were so powerful!"
Still yet, Axel Raarup said, ""I have awaited this day since the minute I set foot in South Bend. My hair can finally be sculpted into the righteous style that has beckoned me for years; the mullet. Malaria doesn't stand a chance."
Finally, C.J. Nash added, "I was strove for a Bon Jovi mullet this year, but I didn’t have the power. I’ll settle for Billy Ray Cyrus. But next year will be a different story.”
To support our boys and do your part in stopping malaria, click HERE.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.