Next year kid... next year.
...a mullet. It's true. Not everyone who presented himself to be "mulleted" receive one. Why? Because in the end the final call was in the eyes of the stylists. Yes, their trained eyes prevented some, who had the spirit but not the hair, from making a terrible mistake... being sent off to the front with a subpar mullet. Kurt Roemer, Steds sophomore, was one of those held back, and when I caught up with him, here's what he had to say...
St.Ed: What happened Kurt? Why don’t you have a mullet or at least a mohawk?
Roemer: I let the team down. I don't have a mullet because I don't have enough hair. I pleaded with them that I do, but they didn't buy it. I was rejected for mulcting.
St.Ed: Sad. How are you dealing with the embarrassment?
Roemer: I am struggling to deal with the embarrassment. While all the other Sted's guys have walked around with their beautiful mullets flowing in the wind, I have had to hide my lame haircut.
St.Ed: Did the stylist suggest a hairstyle that might be more appropriate given your hair’s volume and texture?
Roemer: Given my hair's minimal volume and lack of texture, the hair stylist suggested a skullet for me. However, I had already seen Corey Gayheart's skullet, and I was aware that mine would not compare to the elegance and beauty of his, so I didn't dare try.
St.Ed: Still, how are you showing your support for the boys fighting malaria?
Roemer: In spite of my shameful effort with my hair, I have still tried to do my job in supporting the cause. I have worn my t-shirt around, donated money and spoken with others to spread the good news of our efforts. You have to remember that we are fighting malaria “for the kids”, and this is something I truly believe in!
St.Ed: What are you going to do differently next year so that you aren’t know as "that guy,” that guy without a mullet?
Roemer: I don't think my little ol' heart can take another year of being "that guy...that guy without the mullet." That being said, I may need to avoid cutting my hair until next year’s mullets. That would make up for my sad showing this year.
St.Ed: Good luck!
