There's a fight...

Cook: Also a bored genius

...on the near horizon. Yes, a showdown is brewing between St. Ed's and malaria. It's a showdown where the stakes are real and so is the resolve and determination to win. And to win requires forethought and planning, and for St. Edward's the man who is at the fulcrum of it all is sophomore Ben Cook. A Southern Californian, aspiring architect, and tactician, Cook is marshaling Edwardian forces for this epic battle against this despised enemy. With the Hall's "D-Day" drawing near, I was able to sit down with Cook and ask him some questions.

St. Ed: How did you come to take command of the Hall’s campaign against malaria?

Cook: Last year, I made my debut performance in the Mullets against Malaria. My voluminous, luxurious locks had never looked better, and I felt a true calling deep within my hair follicles to fully commit myself to this fight.

St.Ed: Clearly, spirits are running high here at headquarters, but are the Stedsmen really prepared for the upcoming fight?

Cook: I believe Steds has never been shaggier or more prepared to don mullets with full force.

St.Ed: As you draw up your battle plans, will you employ the “strategery” of past leaders? 

Cook: My worthy predecessor, Matthew "Billy Ray Cyrus" Lupo, has paved the way and made my transition to power smooth and efficient. I aspire to follow in his footsteps as best I can, and use his mentorship and experience to my advantage. But still, I think that a good offense is a good offense.

St. Ed: How would you respond to those who say this year’s fight against malaria is like a bridge too far, or in other words, not winnable? 

Cook: Wars are won by winning battles. The worldwide war against malaria has been going on for centuries, and we, here at St. Edward's Hall, fight only a battle in that war. Our battle is one we take on year after year, and we have yet to lose. This time around is no exception. We're playing, or fighting, for keeps. It's personal.

St. Ed: If you had to create a stirring, yet pithy, slogan for the war effort, something that you could slap on a poster, what would that be?

Cook: Our battle cry for this campaign is one that motivates us every day at St. Ed's. It drives our every action, and reminds us why we do what we do. Put simply, it is, and always will be: "For the Kids."

If you would like to join the Gentlemen in this fight, click HERE.